Monday, December 01, 2003
My computer has been down for a week... but I shall rejoice in the Lord for I have spent more time dwelling in His Word and renewing my faith, accumulating the treasures and wealth that will last beyond this world.
"The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment" - "The Little Principle" extract from "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
Timothy lent me a book, titled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. The testimony behind it was really remarkable and really got me rethinking about my life and pursuit of romance. I would not say that I have totally selfish intentions, nor is it noble. What's more important is I realize that in heading for a love life, what's more important is that both parties should grow, be it through social, emotional or spiritual aspect, and not become a stumbling block, rather a stepping block. In my desperation (haha... a bit too strong to use but I know some of you will refer to it as that) and lack of wisdom, I would have probably made a worse mess if I had gone forward without considering the consequences.
I have gone against my feelings, my desires but I leave it in God's hands for me to decide what would be the outcome or whether I should pursue my own interest in a romantic affair. However, God's steadfast love for me has never waivered for a moment. I prayed that He may show me a sign whether I should take the initiative again but it alas it was not to be. Still, He provided the support of my friends and I grow even stronger in my interpersonal relationships, being able to open up more and devote my time to spend with God. Even in my prayer life, I don't feel the strain I had to speak up to Him personally and in a group. I am able to share my testimony without fear, cause His strength has been made perfect in my weakness.
Had a conviction since the previous friday. We had been talking about issues regarding the Christian faith and Weimeng brought across a striking statement that most Christians don't live up to their standards. And yes it's true. That brought me to make a commitment to God to straighten up my path and stop indulging in the worldly pleasures and to seek purity. I have always been captivated by the superficial beauty that lies on the appearance on girls and brought a thrill which is undesirable, although not of lust but slowly, it is a vice that seeps into the veins and defiles the heart. And the battle against hypocrisy is one which I always had a difficult time curbing. How easy is it to spout the truth without reflecting on one's action! Thus I pushed myself with a challenge - one to recommit my life to God. I would stay low for 7 days not to dwell on sight and flesh but to wash off the impurities in my life. No more "chiobu hunting" or "second look" or "take a sneak peak"... I spend more time confessing my sins to Him and trusting in His faithfulness to see me through, be it on the MRT, at Orchard Road, not even on the bus and around the neighbourhood. Still, the temptation lies there, however, a new perspective came to me. The urge to twitch the eye has faded and new interests has entered my life.
Immediately after sacrificing the desires of my own heart, God has already begin to work in my life. Years back in primary 6, I invited my friend Joel to my church. Then, he wasn't ready to accept Christ. In secondary 3, by God's grace he accepted Christ. Lately, however, he has not been going to a church because his grandmother has passed away. His desire to seek God's countenance was revealed when he approached me again. He has been God's blessing to me as much as I know I have been to him. Now we play guitar together after Church service and nurture in our walk with God.
God has strengthened the bonds between me and my friends. I spend much more time instead of dwelling on fantasies and dreams to live up to reality. Timothy has been a source of encouragement many times and I'm glad that God has provided me with someone to turn to in times of need. My cell life also has blossom and I feel more ready to take an active step in involvement with my church mates, also having taken the role of leader last week to lead in discussion, maturing in my Christian life. There's just too many things to give thanks to God. All it took me was to commit my life in his hand and to let Him fulfill the perfect plan He has for me.
The past week has been like a retreat for me. My computer was down. Emotionally confused. Going against the wishes of my heart. However, God has rewarded me in so many ways which I've never expected. Let fact drive my life, faith account for the actions, and feelings be secondary, because God's ways are higher than Man's, and so is His wisdom.
How have I gone against the desires of my own heart? Through a step of faith. Perhaps there are many areas I have to grow before I am ready to spend a life with someone special. I have nothing to give now. I'll be too selfish to give in to my own wants and not consider about the other party. Therefore, I'll pursue the path God has prepared for me, who seeks to bless me and see me grow out of my infancy stage, and when I do, I pray that God bids me to share the affection I so much wish to give to you. And let me not act on impulse, for my feelings is not what leads me, but my faith and the fear of the Lord. I'm guilty of turning my face against my heart but I pray that this may be an acceptable offering to God - to give up what is most precious in my life for Him. And that has been the greatest turning point in my life.
"The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment" - "The Little Principle" extract from "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
Timothy lent me a book, titled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. The testimony behind it was really remarkable and really got me rethinking about my life and pursuit of romance. I would not say that I have totally selfish intentions, nor is it noble. What's more important is I realize that in heading for a love life, what's more important is that both parties should grow, be it through social, emotional or spiritual aspect, and not become a stumbling block, rather a stepping block. In my desperation (haha... a bit too strong to use but I know some of you will refer to it as that) and lack of wisdom, I would have probably made a worse mess if I had gone forward without considering the consequences.
I have gone against my feelings, my desires but I leave it in God's hands for me to decide what would be the outcome or whether I should pursue my own interest in a romantic affair. However, God's steadfast love for me has never waivered for a moment. I prayed that He may show me a sign whether I should take the initiative again but it alas it was not to be. Still, He provided the support of my friends and I grow even stronger in my interpersonal relationships, being able to open up more and devote my time to spend with God. Even in my prayer life, I don't feel the strain I had to speak up to Him personally and in a group. I am able to share my testimony without fear, cause His strength has been made perfect in my weakness.
Had a conviction since the previous friday. We had been talking about issues regarding the Christian faith and Weimeng brought across a striking statement that most Christians don't live up to their standards. And yes it's true. That brought me to make a commitment to God to straighten up my path and stop indulging in the worldly pleasures and to seek purity. I have always been captivated by the superficial beauty that lies on the appearance on girls and brought a thrill which is undesirable, although not of lust but slowly, it is a vice that seeps into the veins and defiles the heart. And the battle against hypocrisy is one which I always had a difficult time curbing. How easy is it to spout the truth without reflecting on one's action! Thus I pushed myself with a challenge - one to recommit my life to God. I would stay low for 7 days not to dwell on sight and flesh but to wash off the impurities in my life. No more "chiobu hunting" or "second look" or "take a sneak peak"... I spend more time confessing my sins to Him and trusting in His faithfulness to see me through, be it on the MRT, at Orchard Road, not even on the bus and around the neighbourhood. Still, the temptation lies there, however, a new perspective came to me. The urge to twitch the eye has faded and new interests has entered my life.
Immediately after sacrificing the desires of my own heart, God has already begin to work in my life. Years back in primary 6, I invited my friend Joel to my church. Then, he wasn't ready to accept Christ. In secondary 3, by God's grace he accepted Christ. Lately, however, he has not been going to a church because his grandmother has passed away. His desire to seek God's countenance was revealed when he approached me again. He has been God's blessing to me as much as I know I have been to him. Now we play guitar together after Church service and nurture in our walk with God.
God has strengthened the bonds between me and my friends. I spend much more time instead of dwelling on fantasies and dreams to live up to reality. Timothy has been a source of encouragement many times and I'm glad that God has provided me with someone to turn to in times of need. My cell life also has blossom and I feel more ready to take an active step in involvement with my church mates, also having taken the role of leader last week to lead in discussion, maturing in my Christian life. There's just too many things to give thanks to God. All it took me was to commit my life in his hand and to let Him fulfill the perfect plan He has for me.
The past week has been like a retreat for me. My computer was down. Emotionally confused. Going against the wishes of my heart. However, God has rewarded me in so many ways which I've never expected. Let fact drive my life, faith account for the actions, and feelings be secondary, because God's ways are higher than Man's, and so is His wisdom.
How have I gone against the desires of my own heart? Through a step of faith. Perhaps there are many areas I have to grow before I am ready to spend a life with someone special. I have nothing to give now. I'll be too selfish to give in to my own wants and not consider about the other party. Therefore, I'll pursue the path God has prepared for me, who seeks to bless me and see me grow out of my infancy stage, and when I do, I pray that God bids me to share the affection I so much wish to give to you. And let me not act on impulse, for my feelings is not what leads me, but my faith and the fear of the Lord. I'm guilty of turning my face against my heart but I pray that this may be an acceptable offering to God - to give up what is most precious in my life for Him. And that has been the greatest turning point in my life.
Adrenaline rushing, energy bursting, day of excitement, God's blessing. Saturday was a thrilling day for me. I didn't expect to have so much fun and the friends that God had brought to the outing was beyond the grim outlook of the weather and the poor last minute arrangements made.
There wasn't any blazing sun, beach babes or hunks, huge waves, nor did we get a nice tan (sigh..) but everybody was hyped up and ready for some activities. Nothing beats "King of the Ring", last man standing and all the bodies piling on top of each other on an offshore platform haha...
There wasn't any blazing sun, beach babes or hunks, huge waves, nor did we get a nice tan (sigh..) but everybody was hyped up and ready for some activities. Nothing beats "King of the Ring", last man standing and all the bodies piling on top of each other on an offshore platform haha...
